I sometimes kind of wish random people were attracted to me, but, in a respectful, not creepy way.
But, even if you’re not fat, if you’re a woman, you’re probably still so caught up with your toxic weight shit that you can’t even see straight. During my working life I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been part of these ridiculous workplace group diets. Almost all of the participants have been women. Sometimes they even try to bribe one another with money. They all put in ten dollars on the first week and whoever loses the most wins the pool at the end of 4 months, or whatever it is. Look, I’m like you. I’ve done it too. And at a perfectly normal, healthy weight I’ve done it. All because of a sick, shitful, ugly little voice in the back of my head that tells me I ought to be smaller.
And that’s the rub, right there. Exactly why do we want to be smaller? What exactly is the appeal of being smaller? How does it benefit us? Does it make us better mothers? Better students? Better lovers? Better artists? Scientists? Friends? Does it make us more badass badasses?
No, no, no, no, no. You must see that it doesn’t. It doesn’t do anything but make us smaller.
Babies and puppies are small. So are dimes and Skittles. You’re a fucking woman. A woman! You are entitled to occupy as much fucking space as you like with your awesomeness, and you better be suspicious as fuck of anybody who tells you differently.
Why, ladies? Why must we continue to whittle ourselves down? Who is it for? What is it for? You can walk through a certain aisle at the pharmacy or at the grocery store and see the language of diminishment all over the packaging for weight loss aids of all kinds. “Shrink your waist.” “Lose inches off your thighs.” “Slim down.” “Get skinny.”
How about “Grow your mind.” “Increase your confidence and productivity.” “Beef up your knowledge.” “Enlarge your scope of asskicking.”
That’s a valid message for women and girls: grow, expand, branch out, open up, get bigger, wider, faster, stronger, better, smarter. Go up not down. Get strong, not skinny.
You are not here to get smaller. You are not here to have a thin waist and thighs. You are not here to disappear. You’re here to change the world! Change the fucking world, then! Forget about “losing a few pounds.” Think about what you could be gaining instead.
112% over the “no one would ever choose this” thing.
I actually do choose to be in love with my genderqueer partner. I do choose to be a part of this community. I do choose to be femme and fabulous.
I would choose this life every single fucking time.
I should be respected even when I want and choose to be this way, not because it can’t be helped or it’s unavoidable.
Courtney Trouble shoots Karla Lane & April Flores in my studio, 2014.
Looks We Love: Keke Palmer for BOMBSHELL by Bleu Magazine
how does one develop confidence in themselves/their own abilities?
especially when, as someone feminine presenting, as someone who is queer, you’ve been breathing in all the negative assumptions about your capabilities. the ones that have floated by as clouds, as whispers, as billboards, as your family’s judgements.
and those insecurities now seem to have become caught in your lungs, trapped and never exhaled. and so when you encounter challenges, things you aren’t supposed to excel at, your chest becomes tight, there seems to be no space for fresh, confident air, and you are stuck recycling those old vicious refrains of doubt.
digressionsofsymmetry said: I am beyond in love with this blog!! Thank you for creating it! ♥