I wish all 3006 of you (yeah, that’s a way to brag about my number of followers by dropping it casually into a conversation) and I could live on an awesome sex and body positive island where everyone told the patriarchy to fuck off as a morning greeting, where we ate delicious fruit, where we slut celebrated instead of slut shamed, where it was warm and the sun would feel good and never give anyone sunburns, where we supported one another and loved each other for the people who we are and the people we are trying to be, where everyone had fulfilling and meaningful work to do, and where there were so many trees that you couldn’t even remember pavement. 

…And if anyone snuck in who was racist or sexist or ableist or cissexist or sizeist or heterosexist, we would throw them into the ocean and ban them from returning.

I need more femme cake in my life.

(fat femme cake lover for life. <3 )

Sign from Slutwalk Brisbane.

(Source: doucheshaming)

angeladellamuerta said: Pick a dress style you like, one that suits you, then have it altered to fit. I’m sure you have some idea of what kinds of dresses suit you - perhaps you have a dress that you and/or your partner think you look particularly good in?

It doesn’t hugely matter if you buy online ‘cause you’ll still end up with something that fits you well once it’s altered. You can even overestimate your size just in case.

My mother went through all this last year. You’re not alone. It’s okay. Breathe. Remember, it’s your day - it’s important that you feel happy and comfortable, so don’t let yourself get stressed out. You could wear jeans and a t-shirt if you wanted, and fuck everyone else ‘cause it’s not about them.

Think about what you want, what you’d be happy and comfortable with, then go for that.

*hugs* It’ll all be fine.

moisab said: specialized xsized wedding shop?… search the net and make a special trip for it..(?) The important is feeling happy and good about it…

rainkathlean said: There is no need to be ashamed. They can fit you in samples and the consultants have worked with every body type. You should be proud of your body and want to get a gown that does your body justice. Just start trying a few things on and see what happens :)

madamepanic said: I looked online to find a dress store that had plus size sample dresses to try on and I’m so glad I did. Some of the dresses even had to get pinned at the back to fit me right! Look online or call the stores to see what range of sizes they have.

ser-pez said: you could always have someone take your measurements and compare them to the size chart on an online dress shop. or call ahead to bridal shops and ask if they carry plus size sample dresses. most big bridal stores do. good luck!

puddingfountain said: Girl, I’m a US size 22 and they’ve got dresses in my size at David’s Bridal. . Just go be a bridezilla until they get you what you want if they don’t have it. You’re getting married once, so you won’t have to deal with them again after it’s over.

Thank you to everyone for suggestions and ideas - and especially support/solidarity. I wanted to post them for others to see, in case other femmes are having or could relate to this struggle. 

I’m crossing my fingers that somewhere within an hour or two will carry plus size samples. And, I actually really appreciated the ideas about having measurements taken beforehand, if needed, and also thinking about that I’ll get it altered, anyway, so it probably doesn’t matter quite as much that I can just get it to fit perfectly right away, anyhow. 

Alright, tumblr, I’m kind of looking for some help/advice re: wedding dresses.

I don’t feel comfortable ordering a wedding dress online without having tried on some to get a sense of if it will look good on me/work with my body type.

But, I also know that it will probably make me cry to have to go into a store and have everything be “sample sizes” and nothing fit - so, they end up just holding up dresses in front of my body so that I can get a ‘sense’ of what I might look like. 

I’ve been stuck in this non-decision-making place for months. I don’t want to have to be shamed because of my size in a traditional bridal store, but I also don’t want to accidentally end up with a dress I hate. 

I have been having so much anxiety, that I keep just avoiding the issue altogether. 

Have any fat femmes done this successfully? 

I need this as a constant reminder.

(Source: vogueinfection)

You know, unless I want to tell you about how wet it gets, or something.

(Source: cuckoldcaptionscartoonsandpics)

GPOY. Emphasis on the sadism.

(Source: brakingdistance)

femmesandfamily:

written by a fat person.

1. You are beautiful.  Not always and not to everyone, but we are all beautiful and deserving of love. 
2. You do not have justify your body to anyone.  Not to your family, your friends, your doctor, your partners.  It is your body.  No one else’s.
3. You are allowed to take up space.  Use the world around you to your advantage.  Be present in the world in as much space as you need to feel comfortable and safe.
4. You are more than your body.  You have emotional, spiritual, and mental worth.  People might see your body first, but everything else about you matters just as much.
5. You are allowed to change your body if you want to.  You can gain or lose weight if it is your choice to do so.  No one should shame you for either choice.  You are also allowed to keep your body exactly the way it is right now, in this moment.
6. You are allowed to be angry over fatphobia.  You do not have to sit quietly and let those around you make you feel bad for your size.  You can be angry, resentful, hurt, sad.  You can speak out against fatphobia.  You can reject diet and weight loss talk if you do not want to hear it.
7. You can use the word fat.  If you feel fat, you can use the word fat.  You can reclaim it as a positive.  You can use fat as a descriptor.  No one can tell you that you are too small to use it.  If it is part of who you are, do what’s best for you.
8. You can love other fat people.  You can make fat and fat ally communities.  You can surround yourself with positive forces.  You can make fat love.  You can fat love yourself.
9. You can wear what you want.  Crop tops and short shorts.  Mumus.  Tutus and ties.  It is up to you.  Don’t let societal pressures like ‘flattering’ dictate your outfits.
10. You can be fat.  That is good.  That is ok.  That is a celebration. 

(Source: felmcyber-hairyarmpits)

breegant:

I’m slowly learning what perfection really means. It’s not something you can emulate, earn, or expect. It’s something you are that you just have to accept. 

Who better to define perfection than the source who gifted it to you? Certainly not photoshop or fashion designers or TV producers. 

I don’t know. I’m struggling with my image. But I know you can’t define a goddess by industry standards. 

What is your perfection?

katsaysbark:

This is the anthology that my essay will be published in. It has a porn star on the cover. I am suddenly much more optimistic about this career path. 

I would read the fuck out of this. 

Remember when you couldn’t be a “real” feminist (or a “real” queer) because you wore make up? Because femme identities were erased and considered lesser?

I’m starting to feel like this is a new trend with shaving. Like, within radical feminist queer groups that you need to prove it by not shaving your armpits or your legs, or by not waxing your lip or eyebrows. 

I think it’s completely awesome for anyone to style their body hair however they want, but just like I don’t want to be pressured by the patriarchy to conform to certain beauty ideals, I don’t want pressure from other feminists/queers to conform to certain new radical beauty standards.